How to get over rejection is a universal obstacle for all spiritually growing persons at some point in our lives. When we are found to be a misfit for others in certain settings where we want to be accepted, it is always seen by us that we are inferior and of lesser value as people. We may have felt it initially and in response have increased efforts, expending much of our resources to be accepted to change that. Is that not the case with you? Almost every outcast person has tried exhaustively to be accepted, only to be met with mistrust, exploitation and finally turned away. This response comes from companies in employment, religious organizations, political groups, and social groups of any size. It happens within communities and inside families, at the most personal and individual levels as well.
To better understand how to get over rejection, let us look for a moment at something that may seem far away from your failure to be accepted, but is very much connected, causing it. Your devastating experience of rejection may be connected to another failure to connect, and that is to your life path. We are all created by God, no this is not a religious pitch, it is a spiritual pitch, to help you fully understand all there is about you. You are a person God created, and as such there are more parts of you than you may have realized or been taught. One of those sacred spiritual parts is your designated life path. Not only were you created a person, you also were given a specific life path to live out, strewn with lessons and blessings for you to experience. The lessons are mostly felt as sufferings, losses, and bad things, and the blessings mostly felt as good things. If we learn the lessons from the bad things, then the blessings will be even more meaningful because of wisdom gained. Your life path is part of who you are and should be seen that way. You might look at it realistically that your life path is a lifelong message from God, Life, and Humankind specifically to you. Your life path is a message, in fact a lifelong effort to reveal to you to develop your highest self.
Your rejection is more than an indication of undesirability in a personal or social relationship. That is the surface experience, and you may be seeing it this way, and rightfully feeling hurt because of it. In my decades of life and relationships with people I have seen many instances of mismatch between people in marriage and in social groups. Almost always I have found a very strong common reason present. That reason is you are a growing and expanding spiritual individual. In your growth and expansion journey, you were drawn into a relationship or felt like a cause, religion, or cultural group fit you at the time. However, as you grew more in character, the temporary similarities diminished, as you grew further, the Old Order of the group, or another person, sensed your falling out of their values, and being threatened, began alienating you. Similarities were ignored, and differences were noticed, until at last those differences were interpreted by them as a threat to their welfare and you were overtly cast out. This happens readily in Christian Religion all the time in both small congregations and big megachurches alike.
There is pretty much a universal rule in sociology that no person ever gets overwhelmed by rejection out of a group for being inferior, less than the group, it is always because they are better than the group. Almost always your rejection is because you are greater than the group or partner in both character and virtue. It always means you now stand for something they do not stand for. Also, they never did, and you were not able to see it. How do we know that? Because if you are researching how to get over rejection, it shows you have deep feelings and have put out much effort to fit in and contribute. Shallow low character people deserving expulsion for bad behavior do not care and would feel no remorse being rejected. They would simply move into another group or relationship and poison that situation also. The fact it bothers and hurts you shows you have much character. Your emotional hurting shows you have much potential you wish to share with some person or cause. Being hurt, having feelings, and needing to belong in a relationship or group is proof positive you have much virtue to offer. There is other proof of your depth, spiritual people must belong to something greater than themselves. Being an individualist and a loner does not suit us, because we need to nurture and care for others and serve something to feel complete. That is just who we are. When you grow, you start standing for values, and those who do not are very threatened.
Now we have a general idea why you were rejected, and it was not because you were undesirable in any way. Let us look closer at you, and some undiscovered treasures within. Let us go back and look at your life path we alluded to earlier and see some things about it that may help us as we move forward. Rejection comes from us being in the wrong spot, or outgrowing the spot we were in. So why were we in the wrong spot, and what would be the right spot, if we outgrew the last one. This is where looking within our self, a person with a God given life path as part of who we are, comes into play. We told you there is a connection, and we are getting to that good part now. In the past our selection for a relationship or group might have been for shallow reasons, such as religion, a common cause, or some very visible easily described thing. Oftentimes it was simply because the other person needed nurturing but did not appreciate it. That is how we always try to find our cultural placement, at first incorrectly.
However, there is something much deeper, which insightful, spiritually complete people know that we do not yet know, and that is our spiritual similarity, or spiritual match must also be present in the same chosen setting. For example, very few people in religion are spiritual, or even religious. Almost all of them are in religion for inclusion in a social group for shallow political reasons only. And the same could be said for many other individuals, causes, groups, special interest affiliations and so forth. In other words, their reason for being there is far below the deep reason you were there, even though it is the cause you believe in, and they claim to, but they do not. The same reasoning applies to individual relationships also. So, what is the answer?
Our mistake was in looking at others through incorrect common values, such as surface things like religion, common interests, similar backgrounds, vocation similarities, special interests, and so forth. Those things alone are not enough to build a strong emotional and spiritual estate which will last. Stop looking for acceptance in social groups or individuals of any kind based upon any social factors mentioned above only. Those similarities alone are not enough. The acceptance you need is from those with the same emotional and spiritual depth that you have. You need to recognize why you were rejected was because of your emotional and spiritual depth because of who you are. Our remedy then is to focus on who you are that was rejected and concentrate on seeing how you see things, and feeling how you feel about things. When that becomes more deeply ingrained in you, and you have practiced that enough, then look again at the outside world, and something magical will happen.
When you put on your ‘You’ glasses, you will be able to see others out there that are just like you, and you will be led in your correct life path to those persons, places, and settings that will not reject you, but will welcome you into being a permanent part of your and their life path. This self-focus works both ways, because the more ‘you’ that you focus on becoming, the more others like you will be able to see you. Being our authentic self does activate further our life path and opens doors to our highest good.
Was the experience of being painfully rejected and cast out a mistake, either in a social or individual relationship setting that showed you strayed from you prescribed life path by God? No, it was intentional, as are all parts of our life path not walked in anger, hatred, and greed. It was beneficial and serving you because it taught you something good about yourself. It taught you who you are as God’s unique creation with a place in Humankind. For you to not be rejected, you need to find your own kind, and to do that you need to find out deeply who you are first. In showcasing that, your own kind can find you, because they need you as much as you need them. Lesson learned: you are very special and unique, moreover, there is a permanent home setting out there where an audience is waiting for you to showcase your gift of yourself with them!
Just for the record, this is an emotional and spiritual encouragement ministry. We are selling nothing here and are not at the present time even set up to take donations, and probably never will. Your healed life is our reward enough, and we are very pleased with that. If you want to, please share your strength with others in your future so our nurturing can live on.